As a musician/singer/lyricist, I've always had a talent for conveying my feelings into music, poetry is something similar, yet something I can't quite grasp.
When my mother passed away last year, I fell into a place I didn't want to be... My mind is not a nice thing. I wrote many a song to try and get the guilt and anger and sadness out of my head by writing music that would never, ever be heard.
Upon looking at it all, perhaps I do have a poetic mind after all. And out of the dozens of songs I wrote through that difficult time, these are my favourite 5.
Broken
I'm already broken
So why is my heart breaking?
I try to shut out the pain
So why is my heart aching?
I tell myself I'm beautiful
Then tell myself I'm lying
I tell myself that I'm just fine
When I know I am dying
Don't tell me that you understand
Because I know you don't
You ask why I won't talk to you
I don't know why I won't
I don't understand myself
So how on Earth could you?
And so I hide inside myself
Afraid to let the real me shine through
Goodbye, mother
You weren't wrong
When you said it wouldn't be long
Now you're gone
And my heart is breaking
I miss you, mum
More than words could ever say
I hope now you'll find the peace you sought
And I hope you'll be okay
Maybe someday we'll meet again
But until then I'll keep thinking of you
Through the many wonderful years I knew you
I always loved you
And I thank you for giving me life
It's the one gift I cherish most
Please, mama, rest in peace
Don't worry about me
This Little Girl
This little girl has a hole in her heart
This little girl is broken
This little girl has a hole in her heart
This little girl's not jokin'
She used to love the whole wide world
Now all she see's is hell
She used to play with all the boys n' girls
Now she's got a secret she can't tell
This little girl has a hole in her heart
This little girl see's grey
This little girl has a hole in her heart
This little girl's soul is frayed
She used to smile all the time
Now a frown's the only thing on her face
She used to light up the world with her laugh
Now all she feels is disgrace
This little girl has a hole in her heart
Because a bad person pushed through it
This little girl has a hole in her heart
Because a bad man made her hurt and bleed
This little girl is a sister, an aunt, a cousin
This little girl can be anybody
She could sit beside you and you couldn't tell
This little girl has a hole in her heart
This little girl struggles to see the light
This little girl has a hole in her heart
This little girl is me
Impulse
I cut a little deeper and let the blood flow
I cut a little deeper and let it all go
I'm drowning in unspoken words
I cried for help and no one heard
I open up a vein before you change your mind
This is what you get; I'm leaving you behind
I relinquish all control
My final impulse takes its toll
Falling deep into the darkness
How the light has failed me here
I make one last sweet sacrifice
Escaping all my pain, my fear!
You'll just never know euphoria
You'll just never know the emptiness
The fucking carousel is my own private hell
You'll just never know insanity
I cut alone and in pure bliss
Who knew death would feel like this?
A scream rings out, a hand holds mine
Just let me die and I'll be fine
I'm stitched up like
A bloody rag doll
You made me stay
It's all your fault
Maybe you did care
After all
I'll find strength to stand
Before I fall
In Your Memory
I saw you alone in your room,
eyes sad as you stared out the window.
As long as you're gone,
I want you to know that I'll never let,
Never let go of your smile.
Lift up your head and I'll follow you home.
I want to face world beside you.
Keep on walking and never let go.
As long as you're here,
I'll always follow you home.
Even at night, the skies shine
in your memory.
The colours glow in the parting sun.
The seasons do change, and I see you there,
walking the night's silver streets.
Just lift up your head and I'll follow you home,
I'll bravely face the world for you.
As long as I'm walking, I'll never let go.
You'll always be here,
And I'm on my way home.
No comments:
Post a Comment